The entire week absconded. Time has a way of doing that. Getting away from me is easy to do. A moment will slip, an hour will run, a day will vanish. Then I look around and POOF! It’s Saturday. Joan Rivers died, ISIS killed it, Obama said some words which people either agree with or don’t, and the world turned almost seven times. An entire planet spun around multiple times! That’s friggin’ amazing.
My son’s HH Expedition arrived via USPS and we set it up, with the tarp. No rain test, but I am dubious on the viability of the little thing that is to keep him dry in a downpour. From what I have researched he will need something else. Aftermarket purchases for primary gear is such a downer. Why can’t companies make things right the first time? If they did all cars would come with kick ass rims, bored out engines, and blowers. Imagine how our roads would be. A car show of magnificent proportions.
Anyway, the subject of time intrigued me. Not because I am fiddling with the concept in my recent project, but because I noticed some things. Anybody ever listen to The Sundays? A band formed in Bristol during the late 1980s. Fronted by a gal named Harriet Wheeler they cranked out some pretty good songs. You probably heard them on the radio, and you might have liked them in one of your more melancholy moods if you are a Gen-Xer. “Here’s Where the Story Ends” was their first big hit in the U.S. In the 90s they had “Summertime”, “Wild Horses”, and “Here’s Where the Story Ends”. Then nothing. Do you know how old Harriet Wheeler is? 51. She’s aging, like the rest of. What about Gavin Rossdale of Bush? 48. Is everything zen? Not if the world is still spinning. Metallica was recently added to the Guiness Book of World Records for being the first band to perform on all seven continents within a year. Metallica finally got around to playing Antarctica. About time. They’re old too. If you’re a guy prepare to have your bubble blown to smithereens, Clint Eastwood is old, and he will be a goner soon. I know. I’m getting depressed about it as well.
We should have seen it coming, really. Charlie Sheen went from making the movies you liked when you were a teen, to movies you thought were okay in college, to a sitcom. Ally Sheedy is fifty something. And that Breakfast Club group is only seen on TNT on the weekends. Hawaii Five-O is back on CBS, but where is Jack Lord? Captain Kirk is bidding time doing Priceline commercials. And I saw Brett Michaels in a Nissan commercial. What the hell is happening?
Mork is no more, and all we have left is that really great speech from The Dead Poets Society to keep us going. What about Clerks? Mallrats? That guy went off the deep end and pissed off the airlines. I wish Empire Records were a true story, and it probably was. Notice I said was. I awoke the other day to find too many U2 songs on my iPhone, but there isn’t a record store in sight.
It hurts, doesn’t it? Getting old. Our parents told us it would. Here we are, the generation that understood what Kurt Cobain was mumbling. We invented holes in denim and untucked flannel shirts. We made coffee a commodity, and took every opportunity to make it a centerpiece of whatever we were doing (Friends, Starbucks, you are welcome). We programmed VCRs for God’s sake! That is a lost skill. Today nobody even uses a DVD player. I would like to mention we are the generation with the highest level of education, and we saved future generations from the scourge of New Coke and Pepsi Clear (once again, you are welcome world). Van Halen became “Van Hagar”, and David Lee Roth started some Las Vegas styled show, we rejected it, saving everybody once again. YouTube? That was us. Cellphones? Us again. Hands Across America, Live Aid, Farm Aid, “We Are the World”, and Band Aid. That was us! Wayne’s World? Us. The Simpsons? Us. You know that game the kids play in dorm rooms and frat houses? Gilligan? Us.
Oh how the mighty have fallen. We are just like Dr. Frankenstein. Created things and did not consider the implications. Our kids now take selfies, tweet needless words, and have no intention of being anything but entertained. We might have destroyed civilization and not even realized it. But now it looms in front of us. And it is dangerous. It looks like a store. They invaded from the northlands, pillaging and burning. They stripped a plot of land in Atlanta several years ago, and erected their temple.
Yes, IKEA. I’m not saying they are the drivers of this decline. More like the Goths or Vandals. They saw an opportunity and took it. Rome is about to topple and we created the social environment that allows for it to crumble. It will be replaced, and not with the really cool malls we grew up with. Those are things of the past. Expect to see Game Stop, QT, and Racetrac. Walmart will occupy. They are Borg and resistance is futile. Johnny’s Pizza is not your friendly neighborhood pizzeria where friends gather. Why is Pizza Hut primarily take out only and where did Pizza Inn go? Sure they were franchises and common everywhere, but they were innocuous. Camaros and Corvettes are no longer the cars of choice. They have been replaced with Kia Souls and hybrid Toyotas. Remember when your car was a display of parental wealth? Now it’s your cellphone. The barbarians are at the gates, and they intend to tear down all of the social mores we worked so hard to create. Who are these upstarts? The ones that mocked us for playing Pac-Man? The ones who believe video game design is a career path?
They are our children.
The Baby Boomers won. Our parents won out. They undermined us and gave our kids money. Filled them with the notion they just might be better than us. Now they believe it. We should all prepare to move to some sort of enclave in our twilight years. One where we can mingle with each other while riding on our Hoverounds, and reminisce about the good ol’ days, when bands actually played musical instruments. We can mumble power group lyrics in our feeble state of mind, knowing that we might have ripped off the Baby Boomers, but we did it to make things better. Get it on, bang a gong…